A woman’s clearer understanding of G-d’s will bring her to appreciate holiness and spirituality in all areas of life, including married life. Therefore, the physical aspects of marriage are often not sufficient for her. She strives for spirituality, sometimes – even more so than her husband. Women by nature do not require as much “training,” as men, since they possess a more natural, intuitive connection to G-d. He has given us His laws, mitzvot – to guide our human nature to be attuned to His will.
G-d has endowed mothers with unique emotional resources. He has given us the potential to give of ourselves – not only through our contact with our children, but also through the day-to-day chores that child rearing involves.
Making a commitment to mothering is in itself an expression of love. The Hebrew word for love, ahavah, is related to the word hav-”give”. Giving is an expression of loving. The more one gives, the more love is created. Loving by giving is an everyday (often all day!) practice which emulates what G-d does for us, constantly.
Making a commitment to mothering is in itself an expression of love. The Hebrew word for love, ahavah, is related to the word hav-”give”. Giving is an expression of loving. The more one gives, the more love is created. Loving by giving is an everyday (often all day!) practice which emulates what G-d does for us, constantly.
Taharat HaMishpacha is the secret of Jewish femininity. It provides the couple with a divinely ordained framework of commandments. They learn how to relate to each other, building their happiness and devotion. On this sturdy foundation, they can create a superstructure of a happy family and home. The study of these ideas, and their application, helps us discover insights which are ancient – for they were given by G-d on Mount Sinai, but at the same time contemporary – as they are very relevant to our lives as women and as Jews in today’s world.
Women, in particular, are blessed with a yearning for spirituality in their marriage and in their daily lives. A beautiful example of this is Devorah, the wife of Lapidot. Her husband’s religious devotion was elevated when she provided him with the wicks for the Tabernacle, thus ensuring he would be in the company of righteous men. We see that she was rewarded for her actions, as she became Devorah the prophetess.
Women, in particular, are blessed with a yearning for spirituality in their marriage and in their daily lives. A beautiful example of this is Devorah, the wife of Lapidot. Her husband’s religious devotion was elevated when she provided him with the wicks for the Tabernacle, thus ensuring he would be in the company of righteous men. We see that she was rewarded for her actions, as she became Devorah the prophetess.
Preparation for immersion on Friday night requires special awareness because of the laws of Shabbat. A woman may not bathe and comb her hair too late on Friday lest she violate the Shabbat. She may bathe at home early enough to be able to light candles at the correct time, and then go to the mikva to immerse.
Another option is, for her bathe at the mikva earlier on Friday, being careful to finish a couple of minutes before sunset. Her husband can light the candles for her or she can light earlier than usual (but not earlier than 1 ¼ hours before sunset), “on condition” that she does not accept upon herself the onset of Shabbat until the correct time. Before sunset she should say, “I hereby accept upon myself the sanctity of Shabbat.”
Another option is, for her bathe at the mikva earlier on Friday, being careful to finish a couple of minutes before sunset. Her husband can light the candles for her or she can light earlier than usual (but not earlier than 1 ¼ hours before sunset), “on condition” that she does not accept upon herself the onset of Shabbat until the correct time. Before sunset she should say, “I hereby accept upon myself the sanctity of Shabbat.”
This is a question that concerns most parents. Here are some ideas to smooth the path for your growing family. Involve your older child in baby-care activities. Ask him to toss the baby’s soiled clothing into the hamper. Let him choose which outfit the baby will wear. Just as a parent’s giving to his child bonds the two, the more an older child gives to the baby, the more he will love him. If the baby smiles, we could say, “Look, he’s smiling at you. He loves you!”
Perhaps, buy a gift for the child and tell him we’re sure the baby would have asked to give it to him because he loves his big brother. These small things help create a special connection between the siblings at the very outset of their relationship.
This is comparable to what G-d told the angels, “Let us make man.” He included them in the project, so that they would not be jealous of man. From here, we learn to do the same with siblings. Words can have a powerful effect. The child will internalize what we say and feel that the baby really cares about him.
Avoid insensitive comments to the older child and what we tell others. It is not a good idea to continuously tell everyone how jealous the older child is. He may hear such descriptions, internalize them and then act upon this description. Instead, describe to the caller, loudly, what a help the “big one” is and how much he loves his new baby. Then the older sibling will act on this description!
Perhaps, buy a gift for the child and tell him we’re sure the baby would have asked to give it to him because he loves his big brother. These small things help create a special connection between the siblings at the very outset of their relationship.
This is comparable to what G-d told the angels, “Let us make man.” He included them in the project, so that they would not be jealous of man. From here, we learn to do the same with siblings. Words can have a powerful effect. The child will internalize what we say and feel that the baby really cares about him.
Avoid insensitive comments to the older child and what we tell others. It is not a good idea to continuously tell everyone how jealous the older child is. He may hear such descriptions, internalize them and then act upon this description. Instead, describe to the caller, loudly, what a help the “big one” is and how much he loves his new baby. Then the older sibling will act on this description!
Listen to his complaints and respond to them, so that he will not become resentful and bitter. This kind of bitterness can poison the atmosphere at home. We all dislike failure. If he has trouble with a particular chore, we can suggest ways to get it done faster and easier. Forcing the issue will only arouse resistance. In such a case, it is best to wait a short time until the child is more mature and ready to participate in running the household with greater success.
When children do not want to do assigned jobs, we can explain the importance of the particular chore. For example, if a child is told to take out the garbage and she refuses, the mother might explain how the house would look the next day, if the garbage were allowed to remain indoors. She can add a description of what would happen if the mother did not perform her regular jobs, such as buying bread.
When children do not want to do assigned jobs, we can explain the importance of the particular chore. For example, if a child is told to take out the garbage and she refuses, the mother might explain how the house would look the next day, if the garbage were allowed to remain indoors. She can add a description of what would happen if the mother did not perform her regular jobs, such as buying bread.